With playoffs just days away, we shake our imaginary party penguin awake after months of hibernation (do penguins hibernate? That’s probably a stupid question). Here we are… Season 19s highly official (and totally legit) PLAYOFF PREDICTIONS!!! All disagreements and complaints can be sent to kanthony@cdldodgeball.ca
Tier L
Finals: Rebel Alliance def. Pirates of the Cariballin’
Pirates have won this tier before and have a great balance of powerful throwers and smart veteran players who know how to win the game. They’ll vanquish foe after foe in the first three rounds en route to a spot in the big finals. Rebel Alliance may lose an early set, but never tell them the odds. If they can blast 2 metre womb rats with their T-16s back at home then surely they can blast their way to dodgeball glory. Look for them to win the final round in under 12 parsects.
Pushy the CDL Party Penguin’s Pick: Vicious and Delicious always look like serious contenders when it’s playoff time. I’m going with the cupcakes!!
Darkhorse: Tailgaters. Or at the very least they’ll party the hardest at the afterparty!
Tier D
Finals: Big Balls and Back Flips def. Blue Ballers
After dominating in L tier for years, the Blue Ballers finally take a step up to try their luck in D tier. They make timely catches and overwhelm oppositions with their indomitable spirit. I don’t know a whole lot about Big Balls and Back flips, but they probably have like… the only 3 guys in the league who can do backflips, and that’s hella impressive. I almost always predict in favor of the more experienced team, but this time I expect youth and athleticism to win out.
Pushy’s Pick: Here for the Beer has really been here for the dodgeball lately. It’s pretty upsetting, but may payoff come playoffs. Expect a big W followed by an even more impressive bender at the afterparty!
Darkhorse: Dodgeball Z. They were the bridesmaid at the dodgy awards this year, so maybe it’s their time.
Tier C
Finals: Ballout def. Thrill Ride
C tier is stacked full of heavily experienced teams who have been around forever. Ballout is one of those teams, and the one that have stuck around as teammates for the longest. It’s been years of exciting dodgeball action for the former ‘Gotta Catch’em All’ team, and they’ve experienced all the joys of dodgeball with the exception of a championship. Thrill Ride is the one exception to this experienced tier, but are a group of newcomers with heavy arms and great team chemistry. This will come down to one hell of a series, but I like I said before, when it’s close go with the more experienced team.
Pushy’s Pick: Awkward Turtles are another team that have had a ton of success in lower tiers. With rumours swirling that this could be the last season for many of these vets, look for them to go out swinging, and to pick up a big championship on Saturday.
Darkhorse: Lobstars… no reason.
Tier B
Finals: Wrecking Balls def. Jungle Book
As usual, Tier B is shaping up to be the most competitive team, with no less than 5 teams have a legitimate shot at taking home the crown (note: winners will not receive a crown). Jungle Book come into playoffs as our reigning B tier champions and maintain a core that has been together for years. While they may very well pull it out in the end, Wrecking Balls are another veteran team with tons of experience playing together. Evan Sanchez has emerged as a true beast in this league, and over the past few seasons has proven that he can bring his A game to the playoffs. Stick around (or come early) to watch this one folks, it’s going to be a barn burner!!
Pushy’s Pick: Legendary Fight with Shia Lebouf has won this tier before, and have the best name in the league. Expect these actual cannibals to eat their way through the competition.
Darkhorse: Los Huevos… I don’t even know who’s on this team. Good luck dudes!
Tier A
Finals: McShyt def. Demelbro
Don’t let their shitty memes fool you… Demelbro is actually a pretty good team. They have elite level catching and play an extremely smart game. McShyt is awesome and I’m sick of picking them, but I would also like to get at least one right this weekend and they seem like the safest choice. My real prediction is that everyone keeps their throws down and no one yells at the refs…
Pushy’s Pick: Fuck that Shit!!! It’s going down!!! I’m going with Science Rules cause they are the defending champs and a squad of BMFs.
Darkhorse: MINIT TO WINIT, cause I don’t really understand their name… and that makes them dangerous?